January 2011
66 posts
unimportant, unwated, unneeded
I can’t say anything I need to say. I’m breaking down. This winter’s gotten the best of me. I need summer. I need to see the ocean. Maybe the next time I have work off and it’s not snowing I’ll go to the beach. I don’t care how cold it is, I just need to sit and hear the waves crash, even if it’s for five minutes…its always made me feel better....
Perception via Mine Eyes: 25 things you should... →
perceptionvia:
(source unknown) i didnt write this.
1. Most people hide their suffering better than you think, you pass dozens of people a day on the street without any idea how well they’re wearing their tragedies. 2. People’s names are the sweetest sounds they hear. You should make a point of being good at…
so sick of being there for everyone at all times and them never appreciating it and taking complete advantage of me. How dare you come to my house drunk, that’s bullshit, you know it’s not okay. and how come when I try telling you I’m upset it’s always just a joke to you? Do you think I’m kidding or do you just really not care? I’m so confused.
I swear this is my last post of the night
It’s really annoying to always feel like you’re only kept around until someone or something else better is around, but as soon as that person or thing is gone, you’re wanted again. I want to be needed.
My newest tattoo. I just got it yesterday and this was taken immediately after we were done. It’s a portrait of my grandmother from her senior year of high school. Unfortunately she died when my dad was only fourteen and I never got the chance to meet her. His entire side of the family always tells me that I’m just like her, I look like her and I have her personality, they tell...
dramasummerx asked: i miss you :(
I have so much running through my mind and I don’t have the guts (maybe that’s it) to say any of it. I’m too scared. I’m too negative. My mind is cluttered. I just want to sleep. I want my migraine to go away. I want things to just stop worrying me. I want too much, I ask for too much, I expect too much.
25 and 26
Day 25- Someone who fascinates you and why:
I’m sure there are a lot of people who fascinate me, but for some reason I honestly can’t think of anyone that I could write an explanation about. hm. Oh well.
Day 26- What kind of person attracts you:
Frankie :p. oh aren’t i just so cute haaaaa
I wish I had more friends, how sad to say haha. I hate that if Kristen, Frankie, or Mikey are busy or can’t do something, I’m left with no one :(. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate them more than anything, it would just be nice to have more people in my life…. what happened to all my friends?
Nostalgic
beyond all fucking belief.
22, 23, 24
Day 22- how have you changed in the past two years?:
I don’t even know where to begin. SO much has changed for me in the past two years, I’m an entirely different person. I’ve graduated high school, I’m going to college, I’ve lost a lot of people, I’ve gained a lot of people… I could go on and on and on about how much I’ve changed but I feel like...
I wish I could stop clenching my jaw.
I internalize everything, I wish I knew how not to. I’d rather let things bug me than cause issues or fights or uncomfortable-ness between me and anyone. I make no sense.
I was so proud of myself for awhile… I had my anxiety completely under control, but for some reason it’s taking over my life again. I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I can’t even drive to school or work without a terrible pain in my chest that makes me sick to my stomach. I need to fix this but I just don’t know how.
chevygirl86:
No I’m not kidding I love hk n photography So why not have a tattoo that reps my lovre both
well i’ve had the exact tattoo since july, and you say you want it the day after I post a picture saying “this is exactly my tattoo just with no stripes or polka dots.” come up with your own idea.
20 and 21
Day 20 - how important you think education is:
I think education is extremely important. I wish I had worked harder in high school because I know that I could have been a straight A student if I had really applied myself, I’m proving that now in college, because I’m actually trying. I took high school for granted so I’m really determined to make the best of college.
Day 21 -...
you're kidding right?
What the fuck would possess you to text me? You don’t talk to me for MONTHS and think that I want to fucking hear from you? I am seriously so fucking stunned right now. What suddenly makes you want to talk to me now?
18 and 19
Day 18- Your beliefs:
I don’t know, this is very vague. I finally believe in myself and I think that’s probably the most important thing.
Day 19- Disrespecting your parents:
I feel strongly about this. My parents have done everything they ever could for me. We may fight sometimes, but I very rarely disrespect them. I grew up watching my sister disrespect them more than even...
i’m really happy right now, I’ve missed that feeling. As much as I don’t want to be going back to classes, I feel like its a good distraction from everything thats been bothering me. also, i feel so much more productive, especially now that i’m trying and proving to myself what i never did in high school, i am way smarter than i let myself know. i finally feel proud of...
Day 17- your highs and lows of the past year
Highs-
graduating high school
having a great summer and meeting some of the most amazing people even if we’re not all still friends
finally realizing I deserved better than my ex boyfriend treating me like shit and breaking up with him.
getting a 3.5 GPA at QCC and making dean’s list
meeting my cute boyfriend
realizing who my true friends are
getting tattoos
knowing what...
The worst part about being sick right now is the fact that cigarettes have tasted weird the past three days. Fuck.
Day 16- your views on mainstream music
I like a lot of mainstream music and I’m fine with that. It pisses me off when people stop liking their favorite bands because their song is on the radio or because their video is being played on MTV. Why do you care? Shouldn’t you be happy that your favorite band is making it big and being well-known? Isn’t that what bands want? To have millions of people know their songs...
Day 15- your favorite tumblrs
http://hannahkatiexo.tumblr.com/
http://cigarettesandchocolatemilk.com/
http://jillp.tumblr.com/
http://fuckyeahtattoos.tumblr.com/
“having fun leads to getting hurt…well every thing leads to getting hurt” hahahahaha I am the most negative person I know, is it sad that I find that funny?
12,13,14
Day 12- Bullet your whole day:
It’s only 1:35 so this won’t be too interesting… not that I do anything interesting anyway.
woke up around 4 am, took more nyquil, was up until about 5, slept til about 10 am.
woke up fully and watched tv.
watched some more tv.
took my temperature, finally I don’t have a fever anymore.
went to dunkin to get coffee to get rid of my...
I feel like I’m pulling fucking teeth trying to get people to notice that I’m around. It shouldn’t take me asking you everything fucking day when you’re free and when you can clear up some of your busy fucking life for me. I’m considering transferring further away than Beverly.
Yesterday I get a letter in the mail telling me that I’ve made dean’s list, today I get a letter saying I can’t start classes cause my tuition hasnt been paid. thanks mom and dad! i woulda paid it had i known.
I feel so unimportant all the time lately. I’ve been at my house for the past week, I’ve left once other than work. Nobody bothers to ask me how I am or what I’m doing and it really sucks. Everyone ignores my texts and calls. I’m sick of crying over people who can’t be bothered with me. I haven’t had a cigarette in two days cause I’m so sick but I want...
“thats what a relationship is, you deal with the other person being irrational”
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/16Rf2Y/twistedsifter.com/2011/01/tilt-shift-van-gogh-paintings/
Go look at that! I love StumbleUpon, it’s so entertaining.
Butt I wish I had a good book to read.
Day 11- put your ipod on shuffle and list the...
Alice and Interiors - Manchester Orchestra
Secret Oath - The Spill Canvas
Angel - The Game
A Better Son - Rilo Kiley
Weed Roller - Wiz Khalifia
False Idols Fall - Comeback Kid
Where Have You Been - Manchester Orchestra
Losing Hope - Jack Johnson
Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing - This Providence
Music Box - Regina Spektor
What an assortment!
Chain-smoking, looking at clothes at online that I shouldn’t spend my money on, wanting to paint but procrastinating.
I need a life
