Fight Off Your Demons

Is it bad or weird that when things are going great, I’m sitting around waiting for the catch? What’s the catch?

Day 4- The best thing to happen to you this week:

Well it’s only Sunday, so it’s the beginning of the week, but I had a wonderful day to start my week.  A date to my favorite restaurant with a super sweet boy and then cuddling watching movies after :).

Day 5- Weird things you do when you’re alone:

Sing really loud…but that’s not that weird.

Opposite sex:

1. they play games.

2. they lie.

3. they only want sex.

4. they can’t say how they feel.

5. they suck. haaa

Same sex:

1. we are bitches

2. we don’t know what we want

3. we’re fake

4. we always have some sort of drama going on.

5. we complain a lot.

The two most common:

+

It really sucks that I don’t have a single holiday in my memory that my mom wasn’t miserable.  She’s either fighting with my sister or finding something else to make everyone miserable about.  I wish just once a holiday would go smoothly and that she would just be happy.  She hates everything about our family and it hurts so much.  I hate holidays.  Happy fucking thanksgiving, mom.

I fucking hate my job.  My boss is a fucking creep and hits on me all the time, talks about how tight my clothing is and how “cute and smart” I am.  When I don’t know how to do something though, he gets fucking pissed at me.  I’ve only been working there a few weeks, sorry I’m not an expert.  I’m gonna start looking for a new job, I can’t handle working there… but I’ll stay ‘til I find something else.  I’m really not looking forward to Black Friday.  I have to work fourteen hours and my anxiety is going to be horrible.  Today was the busiest day that we’ve had since I’ve worked there and it took everything I had to not have a panic attack.  I stayed calm, which I’m proud of myself for, but I’m really nervous about Friday. 

I love having my license.  I haven’t gotten to drive too much but it feels so great to finally be able to.  I love driving.  I need a car, pronto.

I guess that’s it…. I had a lot in mind when I was typing the title of this and I forgot it all as soon as I started typing.

Day 1 - The person you like and why you like them:

I don’t really like anyone.  I guess I’m interested in someone though.  He’s nice and I like talking to him but who knows what will happen.  I’ve learned not to get my hopes up about anything.  I’ll probably just keep my wall up, who needs feelings anyway? … no me.
 

I’ve been so busy with work and school lately that I haven’t had time to update.  I have a lot to say though, but none of it ever seems to matter.  I’ve been keeping a lot bottle up inside lately… it’s easier that way.

I keep scanning my computer desk in hopes of an unopened package of something to eat… like cookies.  There’s an empty nutter butter pack staring me right in the face.  So hungry but I can’t go get food ‘cause my dad fell asleep on the couch :( wahhh.

All I do now is work chill with Kristen and Mike until I have to go to bed sleep to go to school and work some more.  Why am I so exhausted? 

I have so much to do.  I really need to register for classes and start my portfolio.  I’m slackin’…. fahk.  Why do I only think of these things at 1 in the morning? wtf.

So hungry.

casperkillzx:

oxburiedaliex:

Why is everyone so obsessed with four lokos?

I just do not understand.

Because it’s the cool thing to do like smoke butts and raw dog some randoms

riiiiight haha.

Why is everyone so obsessed with four lokos?

I just do not understand.

It’s always flight… I’m afraid no one will ever fight for me.

Day 43: A picture of your favorite place in the world

ocean<3

Day 44: Something that fascinates you and why

A lot of things fascinate me.  I’m really fascinated by dreams though.  I think every dream has some sort of meaning.  I would love to take a pyschology of dreams class.

Day 45: A letter to yourself a year ago

Dear me a year ago,

      You need to take a few steps back and look at what you’ve gotten yourself into.  Are you happy?  You’re not happy and you haven’t been for a very long time.  You may have some good times here and there, but you’re losing who you are.  Where did your drive go?  You wanted to go so far, will you even go there now?  You’re giving up everything you’ve ever wanted, you’re letting it slip right out of your hands.  This isn’t you.  You shouldn’t be letting a boy take up your entire life.  Remember the great friends you had?  They don’t even want to be around you anymore… they don’t want to just hang out with you when your boyfriend isn’t around and they don’t want to listen to you cry about him all the time and do nothing about it.  Your family barely even wants to be around you anymore, they think you’ve become a bitter bitch.  Just take some time out and think if this is really what you want.  In a year you’ll realize all of this and you’ll realize you didn’t ever need him as much as you thought you did.

          Love, me a year from then.

Day 46: Photos of personal things in your life (pets, family, house, ect)

this takes wayy too much effort and i have homework to do haha.

Day 47: Birthday wish list

My birthday is entirely too far to start making a wishlist for it.  I just want my birthday to go right for once in my life.

Day 41: Whatever tickles your fancy

What tickles my fancy is shoes.  Now that I have a job it’s going to be incredibly difficult to not spend all of my paychecks on heels.  I bought beautiful Steve Madden ones today, they were 60 bucks on sale for 35, how could I not?

Day 42: Bad habit(s) you have

biting my nails, smoking, bitching, being a bitch, dying my hair, many things.

The focus on your house of sex equals passion and means instant chemistry for whatever you’re doing. If your love life has been moving through a stagnant period, this should certainly heat it up a bit. Passion is there for the taking, whether you’re looking for love, have found it, or are trying to get it back. But you also want your own space and some freedom to experiment socially. It’s time to get away from the usual crowd and meet some very different friends who can offer new experiences.

lolololol

I always manage to do what I say I won’t do, I always let myself down.

When I say I want to snuggle, that’s what I mean… I’m not using code.  I literally mean I just want to snuggle and watch a movie.  Goddamn.