Don’t talk shit about me or my friends. I’ve had enough.
I’m trying to swallow my jealousy because everything else is perfect, things are even starting to come together for next year. I know I will always be jealous though. Too many people have hurt me and made me this way. I wish I could just get over it and move on and let it make me a better person, but instead it makes me sick to my stomach and makes me want to cry.
Finally getting all my applications together and sent out today. So stressful!
http://www.formspring.me/stefyyyp
haha formspring was the worst invention everrr, but it’s so addicting, I don’t know why. I keep getting things telling me I’m not a photographer and I’m not good at taking pictures so I shouldn’t go to school for it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t people usually go to college for photography to learn more and get better? haha. Not mention someone told me Dylan is cheating on me. hahaha. If you have nothing better to do than try to ruin a relationship via formspring, you have some issues. First off, dylan would NEVER cheat on me and I know that for a fact, second of all, if you REALLY thought that, then you should have the balls to tell me and tell me who you are, if you were a decent person you would let me know haha, but like I said, I know it’s not true. :)
Finals started yesterday. I think I’m doing really well so far. Tomorrow are probably my two hardest, government and trig. fml. Wish me luck! I also have a lot of make up work to do tomorrow :(. Oh, and I also have to get my applications sent out before monday, so hopefully by Friday I’ll be set! The reality of going to college is starting to set in and I’m getting so scared and it sucks so bad :(. I’m no longer ready to grow up and go out on my own, I can’t do it.
Ask me anything http://formspring.me/stefyyyp
I want to create something beautiful but I haven’t the motivation, much less the talent.
http://www.formspring.me/stefyyyp
Everyone else is doing it… why not?
to be everything that you want, but I’m so much you hate.
I want everything to work and I am determined to make everything better, even if it means biting my tongue. I don’t know how to not be jealous even though I really have nothing and no one to be jealous of. I wish so many of my friends didn’t steal guys right from me, or that so many guys I liked didn’t fuck my friends or just fuck me over in general, maybe then I’d be able to trust enough that it’s not going to happen all the time. I trust you with my life, you’re not only my boyfriend, but my best friend. Maybe we needed to lose each other, even if it was only for a day for us to realize how much we love each other and that no matter what, we can make this work. I hope things stay as good as they were yesterday. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose you again.
I’m getting sick to my stomach trying to get all my shit done for school, I have no motivation, I don’t want to leave in seven months, I’m so scared to leave.
I don’t want to be angry anymore, at anyone at all. When did I become such an angry fucking humanbeing?
…what the hell is going on here?
Lady Gaga is taking over the world and I’m okay with it! hahaha
I’ve got friends in all the right places I know what they want and I know they want me to stay.
I trust enough that people won’t hurt me,
then they hurt me,
then I trust they won’t hurt me again,
and they hurt me.
and I still trust.
This has been going on for years.
My new years resolution was to not let people walk all over me and I’m already failing with that.
I want to be happy, I want to finish all my college applications and get them sent out so I can stop freaking.
I’m always a pessimist at heart.
No matter how hard we try, something bad always happens.
I just wanna believe, I just wanna believe in us.
I’m tired of fighting and I’m tired of crying. I want to matter to the people that matter to me. I want to FEEL it. I want everything to be fixed because I can’t stomach the idea of losing you.
My name’s Stefani…
and I don’t matter.
